Mirror Mirror tell me…

BLA BLA BLA: THE “LIFE” SHOW

I’m trying to look back at what happened last weekend…trying to grasp what I can learn from what I see, what I have experienced.
It’s one challenge to live for real the moment and another to keep going without forgetting what we could have gained or learned from that moment.  So many times we are running endlessly from one experience to another pursuing a bigger thrill, a more intense feeling, a diversion in a linear journey… forgetting each time what this experience revealed about ourselves, about where we are heading and about what we need to change in order to live more freely and more happy too.  I’ve been told that it’s foolish to act that way and that a wiser way to live is to always look at experiences like we would look in a mirror, wanting to see our true reflection and remember what we saw as we move on.

Let me tell you what MY mirror told me…
Last Friday night we had a rehearsal for the Bla Bla Bla the Live show.  There are so many technical aspects to be tested…lighting, plateau set up, sound, internet connection, camera coordination, video projections, and for the band to review the different subjects we will talk about, for Marie and Stephanie to coordinate their different roles, one being the channel between the band and you on the chat, the other in charge of letting the “cat out of the bag” (to reveal all the secrets).  It may look easy and smooth when it’s on the air but now you know there’s A LOT of preparation involved as we want everything to be more than good for you, we want it to be AMAZING for you because… you deserve the best!

During the rehearsal I didn’t feel right… I was stressed… I was feeling negative and even though I wanted to do my part to make the preparation easy I just couldn’t get rid of my negativity.  There was no way I was going to look like a fool or vulnerable (thanks to my pride…damn pride!) so the only way I found to “survive” was to be fake and hide my real feelings, playing a role, saying what I thought would sound nice and being who I thought people around expected me to be…  I left the set after the rehearsal with a disgusting feeling and a growing fear of how it would go for the Bla Bla Bla.  Then I remembered… a certain mirror…  the reflection of myself I saw with the first “The Confessional” where I was confronted and invited to be real and not to give the “good” answers in order to look good… that mirror had been quite choking for me at that time but I definitely remember it and now I wasn’t going to let myself fall into the same trap.  Why? Yes, because I remembered the pain of the first time, but MAINLY because what I wanted to happen during our Bla Bla BLa was too important to ruin it by being a proud fool… I wanted to express myself about the tours, I wanted to share my excitement, I wanted to tell you LIVE how everything we share is one of the most precious things in my life, I wanted you to see and feel that together we are powerful and limitless…

I’m so blessed because I had my bro Max and my sisters Chris, Miriam and Golain who stepped in to help me change my perspective and encourage me to take action motivated not by my feelings (in this case negative) but instead according to my desires and my beliefs.  They reminded me to simply be me and that “me” was exactly what was needed…good enough…perfect without the pressure of perfection.  So I spent my Saturday focusing on what I wanted and not on what I felt, I was like an athlete visualizing myself in action, meditating on what I had to say in its most simple form, training my heart to be open and not to hide…

After a little nap between Saturday and Sunday…lol… I was ready!  I knew what I wanted to accomplish for the Bla Bla Bla, I knew I was supported by my family, I knew I might face more negative feelings but I KNEW I was able to focus and live something incredible.  Nothing would steal from me the joy of sharing a live moment with you.  And I MADE IT!  I was so happy during and after the chat because I definitely won the gold medal and as I look in the mirror of this experience I see myself as a winner that had to face an obstacle, had to get partners, accept training and persevere.  What can I learn for next time?  Mirror tell me…

First: I’m in a constant evolution and can expect to deal things better and differently.

Second: I have to figure where that negativity is coming from and how can I be in assurance enough to avoid it.

Third: I’m an even bigger winner when I allow others to jump in and let them help me focus on the goal and on my ability to get to it!  Sharing the challenge and sharing the victory too!

So if you saw me all smiles during that chat, being comfortable and in assurance, it’s not without a proper fight with my own barriers… but it was real… it was a victory… it was a reflection in the mirror that I will remember as an encouragement for many more experiences to come!

-Miss Isabel