Extraordinary is only the starting line!
Is it easy for you to build real relationships? I’m talking about developing a bond from the heart that allows 2 people to understand each other, to support each other in any situation, to be a reference for one another, to impact powerfully the life of the other, to love, to allow the other to make mistakes and forgive, to accept the other as he/she is but loving that person enough to speak the truth when he/she is wrong. If your answer is “not really”… well…same here. As you heard in the last Bla Bla Bla (or you WILL hear in the rerun I included at the end of this page!!!) even if the 6 members of Your Favorite Enemies have been together for more than 10 years, we still need to fight and create occasions to get to know each other and connect. That’s why we created a coffee shop in the studio where we listen to vinyls or just talk over a coffee… And even in our close family, it’s not easy for me to connect deeply with people as I have a hard time to deal with the risk of feeling rejected, feeling like I don’t know how to understand the other person, the feeling of having to get away from my own self comfort to just give…give my love without expecting to be loved in return…give without the fear of losing something I feel I own or deserve, and then end up being the loser.
But really, these fears are some of the Lords of the darkness we shared about in the last blog. They make sense when they are surrounded by darkness, but once these fears meet light, they really look stupid and they vanish pretty quickly!
“Exploring our dark side is very painful… But whether I share or not… It’s still there… And how can I turn the ugly into beauty if it remains in the dark?”-Max (Canada)
“reasons to explore our darkness, there are many, but only with the neighborhood and the encouragement of people who love us we can find the strength to really explore and find the peace that we seek.” -Franca (Italy)
“when mercy and forgiveness are more than occasional guests in a “community” – when those life-giving forces are honored and revered and sought – our combined light can truly outshine the darkness” -Elizabeth (USA)
“My reasons to do it?(facing the darkness) To be free, to be so happy that it will shine for the people around me, that I can love them with the most beautiful things I have in me…” -Juliette (Canada)
Aren’t we ALL THE SAME… that means there is no shame in having difficulties developing a deep friendship, that means also there’s a treasure there to gain if we decide to just try…just like you guys said, our real friends are a motivation and a powerful help to fight our darkness, and once we live in the light, we can enjoy even more the miracle to love and be loved by a friend. Slowly but surely, the freedom we grow gives us such a power!!! A power to change our life first and then to change the world! Reading what Vanessa (Canada) and Marcel (Germany) wrote, we can see again how it’s not necessarily easy to stand on the side of those who are receiving the rocks, so we do need this power to go against the “stream” of racial or sexual orientation exclusion.
Standing for human rights for all, no exception, includes standing for one another everyday. I am so surprised at what we can accomplish by being together…together as ONE. That ONE for me really is what allows us to touch the impossible, the craziness, the magic, the type of frenzy we lived during the Bla Bla Bla! I was therefore surprised and joyful reading these and really want to share them!
“There is madness and folly … (…) It ‘s been in a day of joy in fellowship with friends.” -Tobia (Italy)
“I experimented what freedom, love, peace and joy is all about!”-Marjo (Canada)
“Very happy to be able to see that you have been involved in a lot of activities, admire you, I hope that you are well” -Pengpeng (China)
“We can see the evolution in what you share” -Aurélie (France)
“What extravaguanza? I think it’s all normal!!! I love this craziness, so refreshing and pleasant!” -Julie (France)
You guys are right… Normal should be the freedom to have fun with friends… Normal should be to allow ourselves to be surprised by the unexpected… Normal is to have a “legendary cake” like Sef! Craziness would be to accept less in our life. You told me that Sef is a good example that proves that extraordinary is only the starting line. I’ll make sure to share with him these words of yours that are so touching and true…
“I’m touch by Sef’s love. inspires me not give up in my own life.” -Brit (Canada)
“Sef has made a significant impact in my life. Sef is not a rock star. I find him to be a once wounded, gone through the fire, refined and a loving soul.” -Brenda (USA)
thank you so much…for being you…for sharing your thoughts and your heart with all of us… it does impact my life…our life!
-Miss Isabel
Comments (7)
Danielle
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Hey Miss Isabel!!
Is it easy for you to build real relationships? well depends!!!
i have my Sista Robyn that i’ve known for 11 years and we clicked right there and then, we knew right there we had the same pain, we needed someone to talk to and to be with people!!!
MISS ISABEL ONE DAY YOU WILL BUILD A BEAUTIFUL REAL RELATIONSHIP TO EVERYONE EVEN WITH US, YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO BEEN FEELING REJECTED, YOU ARE LOVED, I AM GIVING MY LOVE YOUR WAY IN RETURN!! 🙂 YOU WILL NOT BE ALONE WITH THAT AND YOU ARE NOT A LOSER AT THE END!!!
anyways *to allow the other to make mistakes and forgive, to accept the other as he/she is but loving that person enough to speak the truth when he/she is wrong.*
Sometimes not all the time it Happens. Me and Robyn now are trying not to do that!!!
we been through hell but it’s real, a real Sista Relationship and we are not gonna stop being there for one another, VIA Internet or in person, it’s real! 🙂
some reason when i met you guys and everyone else, It’s hard to built a real relationships, not easy to click, to be friends!!!
when i met you it was hard to built a real relationship!!! Still trying. 😉
anyways with what everyone said is amazing!! 🙂
😀 Sef!! 🙂 yes he is an example that proves that extraordinary is only the starting line. I LOOOOOOOOOVE MY BEARDED BRO!! 🙂
you’re an amazing person Miss Isabel!! 🙂
your welcome for being me, but i’m still trying!! 🙂
I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU!!!
xxxDanielle
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Elizabeth
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Hi dearest Isa!!
This one has definitely set me to thinking, as your sharing always does.. My heart and thoughts have expanded so much since the YFE family entered my life, and the learning and growing continues in a myriad of ways in every area of my “world” – like the spokes of a wheel extending from the center. For this season of my life, my involvement with the YFE family has been a very intense avenue to the center of my existence, which in my understanding, is God – the indefinable “Something Greater” that is the force of Love that fills and sustains the universe we see and so much more beyond our understanding or imagining (which is a pretty awesome thought!)
I am very sure that to be able to safely and beneficially love another, we need to have some sort of “security of worth” within ourselves – no person can fulfill this deepest need for us and we cannot give it to another with our merely human love. Hurting, insecure people hurt other people, and darkness and distrust and hate multiply themselves as well as the positive forces of love and light. But the wonderful thing about love is that it is never “merely human”. There is always Something beyond ourselves involved when a glimmer of selfless Llove and trust begins to emerge in our hearts, even in the midst of our own imperfection and the imperfection of those receiving our love. Light does indeed overcome darkness, and Love is rightly recognized as the most powerful force of all – I am so very sure of this, as unlikely is it may sometimes seem! For me, the greatest beauty of this YFE community is that it is a “place” where sparks of healing, transforming love are nurtured and encouraged to grow and mature and spread. When I see and experience and live that, it gives me hope for myself and for the world..even for the universe and beyond..for all eternity.. 🙂
Thank you again dear Isa – thank all of you!!! mom eliz
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Mune
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And even in our close family, it’s not easy for me to connect deeply with people as I have a hard time to deal with the risk of feeling rejected, feeling like I don’t know how to understand the other person, the feeling of having to get away from my own self comfort to just give…give my love without expecting to be loved in return…give without the fear of losing something I feel I own or deserve, and then end up being the loser. i read this and it was like you were talking about me it is like you read my mind i have never been popular and i have never cared but we are all the same because no one wants to be rejected or feel like a loser i still can not believe you think of yourself that way you are so beautiful inside and out you are loved by everyone who has the privileged to know and in my case extremely lucky not just to call you sister but to have you love me and call me sister i never thought someone as amazing as you would love me much less accept me as your sister i do not have the words to explain how much that means to me and you are always teaching me to be a better person and to love myself and for that i thank you love always Mune
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Heather
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Hey sweet sis!
How have you been? I hope that you are doing good, and know that it has been quite awhile since I wrote, and apologize for being behind. I feel that sometimes it can be hard, but it from those tough times that we grow and learn from each other. I too, think that when we keep the communication open despite the ” cat got your tongue” moments, that if we let the other know how you feel it makes it easy. It allows for their unique personality to shine throughr. I miss and love Alex very much, and I am very thankful to God for not only bringing us together, but all of us! I would rather him tell me if I’m wrong or right, and not let me believe that his feelings weren’t hurt, as they are important to me!
It is in these tough moments, that we need to keep our inner peace with God to get us through the storms in life. I have always turned to God when I felt that one was coming my way.
I allowed circumstances to keep me down, afraid to talk and share, knowing that there was no fear with my YFE family, but wanted to try to get through it without making anyone aware of what happened. I was a mess, I admit it. I read all of your messages, and it reminds me to keep pressing toward the dream. You are a great sister, miss isabel, and I appr eciate your words of encouragement, and don’t you change who you are, all of you!
I will not allow the shadows steal the dream from my heart, and will keep in faith to not only see it, but to touch it.
Each day, is a step toward seeing it come to light!
I’m not going to disappear or give up, quitting not an option!
love from your sis,
Heather
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Brenda Van Camp
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Isabel,
You know the most important commandment is to love others as you would love yourself.
If you love someone without the expectation of being loved by them you lose nothing.
We all feel rejected at times but those are the times where we grow. Missy you radiate love to all who are near you. Don’t be afraid of putting yourself out there. What helped me was to know that I am loved by Him and he will never leave me a lone or lonely. I can’t ask for a greater love. Fear is an illusion and once we step though it we can see it for what it is..
Marcel is right true bonds are unbreakable.
Love you Missy,
Brenda
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Tobi
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Miss Isabel, as i read your blog i find myself in deep reflection, looking into the mirror of my soul, my heart, my head.
I think back a few years to how i used to be, putting up barriers that push people away. Shutting people out, hiding the enotions that are needed to create relationships.
We have known eachother now for getting on for 7 years, in that time we have both grown, both changed and our relationship has flourished into something beautiful.
Through you i have been introduced to so many amazing family members and friends. With whom relationships have grown and blossomed.
Even with all this i still feel that there are parts of me that i haven’t opened and shared. Dark places which are yet to be enlightened.
I don’t dwell on them though, i refuse to let them drag me back into the dark cave, instead i climb one hand hold at a time into the bright light accompanied by my closest friends and dearest family members.
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Marcel B.
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To be honest, for me it’s in a way also not always easy to build real relationships.
I really love my friends and i trust them. But in a way not fully… because i’ve always the fear that they have no trust in me.
And sometimes it’s not easy for me to remind myself, that those fears are not true….
But once i’m able to really believe in my friends and to really trust them, then there’s nothing that can destroy that bond between them and me.
It’s not always easy to build real relationships but it’s the greatest treasure we can have.
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